Domestic homicide is a pandemic so pervasive that the soaring figures cause weary resignation rather than alarm. Monckton-Smith has identified eight stages a coercive relationship will go through before it reaches critical and extremely dangerous levels. Having this knowledge will help you understand people, the ways control works and will help you be able to spot coercive or dangerous domestic situations, a skill you hopefully will never need, but is good to know nonetheless. Step by step, I could see the signs, I knew before, reading this book made me think more and realise more.

And if I think you’re the type, my radar will be more finely tuned to other behaviours I have to look out for. Why not teach men that women are not property, we have our own minds and we can decide for ourselves what we want in life, be it a certain partner, or a career.Using this the author debunks the myths of 'crimes of passion' and also looks at how the victim in these cases is often unheard and somehow deserved their treatment.

The behaviour of Ellie's mother and baby Teddie's mother were exactly the same, and equally incomprehensible, until you read this book. The euphemism of someone who is always worried about angering potential lunatics is often seen as weak. she just provides answers as to how to recognize and stop these crimes before they become homicides. I’m in recovery from a long coercive but non violent relationship that I left because things seemed to be escalating and was recommended this by my therapist. These things can happen in a normal relationship but if you’ve got someone with a history of control who is then going very fast, you’ve got loads of flags.

The stories in the book will stay with you, and will make you rethink how these situations are dealt with, from law enforcement to family court. I read this book because I have been in relationships with sociopaths and I clearly saw that their behaviour is a societal issue. Had I read this book or something like it years ago, it would've opened my eyes to my own, thankfully short coercive relationship. Powerful and insightful book about coercive control and domestic violence, written in such an accessible way, using case studies sensitively.

Chapters seven and eight cover planning and carrying out the homicide, including insights into some well-known cases. Photograph: Gareth Iwan Jones Photographer/Gareth Iwan Jones for The Observer View image in fullscreen Jane Monckton Smith: ‘The clues are very often in what the person says about themselves. There is nothing wrong with the modern presumption of innocence legal process, but it is worth noting that its premise is like the contemporary judicial process, which puts the plaintiff and the defendant on an equal footing, and a premise that is insufficiently justified cannot draw a valid conclusion. These are demonstrated through case studies, homicide reviews, and interviews with perpetrators and the families and friends of victims. Occasionally Jane Monckton-Smith's writing appears to lose a little direction and clarity; the subject matter however, clearly speaks for itself!In the present climate of the Reclaim These Streets movement, those in charge should be paying far more attention to studies such as these, and the author's carefully observed 8-stage timeline as a preventative measure. This is a pretty good description of authoritarian bullies who feel justified in murdering their partners. You question the effectiveness of the adversarial system in courts because it places the victim in opposition to the offender.

Recognition: Narcissistic unsympathetic, relationship is developing rapidly, seen as a promise to hand over the right to harm. By recognising these patterns, we can track how – and why – risk may escalate for victims and we can provide crucial intervention. Jealousy and manipulation in the nature of ownership is socially conscious of being "big man", "love". Drawing on disciplines including psychology, sociology and law, she talks to victims, their families and killers, putting together pieces to the puzzle of how these relationships can end in murder and bringing to light the reasons why - for so many of us - there is no such thing as the safety of one's own home. The process of escalation is examined in chapter five, with a focus on stalking based on fixation, obsession, unwanted contact and repeated behaviour.You’ve got someone who’s willing and happy to have arguments and the victim will do anything to avoid arguing with this person. I think we need to stop seeing it as an argument between people and start seeing it as a dangerous situation in which somebody has become a threat to somebody else. That they shouldn't be free to rampage through their messy selfish lives destroying or harming pretty much every human being they cross paths with. And that’s how things are very often argued in court, because if you can argue for crime of passion you will probably reduce your charge from murder to manslaughter. Nothing seems to change and that's what's depressing about this book, until the police take women's concerns seriously, more women will die.